I caught James Cameron's Avatar with Remy and Azmi last Sunday.
I probably first stumbled into the term avatar in the computer game series Ultima. Then there was Nickelodeon's anime series Avatar:The Last Airbender/The Legend of Aang which still ranks among the top in books, which is why I was quite irked that some other movie is using the name as its title.
Movies are created to bring you into that world for that short period of time. For some reason I was not able fully immerse myself into the movie... probably because I was still sour of the title of the movie and of course also because of that uncertain road for me in the not so distant future.
(warning spoilers ahead)...
I could feel for the excitement of the wheelchair-bound Jake Sully when he first got a feel of controlling his avatar. To walk again, to run again must certainly be someone wheelchair-bound.
I appreciate the crazy amount of work that must have been spent from the conceptualization stage down till compositing of the final product. Sound design wise, an untrained movie-goer may under-appreciate the importance it plays in the whole. The snarl of the na'vi and the other creatures in the movie
The background sky of the alien planet shows 2 moon which is overly cliche but effective in depicting an alien planet.
Humans needed a breathing device to survive on the planet... but I how on earth... i mean how on pandora was the main character able to light up a fire on that planet if oxygen was not present. Then I tried to rationalize that it's not because of the lack of oxygen.... but rather a presence of a lethal gas that suffocates the humans on that planet. Maybe a different sets of scientific laws are at work. That conveniently make sense of everything.
Should anyone think so hard when watching a movie. No! But why do I torture myself? Partly, it comes from having to be critical to the our own stories as animators. Also because I have a tendency to overcomplicate things.
Overall the movie was pretty awesome. I liked the epic battle part when the good guys were losing. I also like the part where one has to choose between what is just and siding to your own 'kind'. I would not know what I would do if I were put in such a situation.
The twist and turn of life is a never-ending source of amusement. It's the new islamic new year and it's a good time for introspection. In conjunction with the spirit of the momentous hijrah 1431 years ago, let's get rid of the old and in with the new.
My resolve is to rescue rukia... no wait, that's ichigo's resolve. My resolve for this year is to wear my heart on my sleeves more often. I am substituting the overused word resolution to create emphasis and in my opinion, it has a ring of definiteness to it. I also resolve to take care of my health. According to Maslow, one of the criterias of self-actualization is appreciating emotion and react easily to emotions. I have to admit that this is not my strong suit, not that it is a secret since I walk around everywhere with a stoic disposition.
My long absence from blogging has primarily been because of me hiding my struggle with some aspects of my health and the need to keep this blog 'whine-free'. I shall share a little more on this in hope that it will be beneficial to others.
There were 2 shows that I watched this week that speaks of the matter of the heart. Bleach episode 250
Ginrei Kuchiki: When one is granted great power, what is of the utmost importance in mastering it?"
Kouga Kuchicki: What is it?
Ginrei Kuchiki: Your heart. Those who have great power must know how to control their own power. And sometimes be controlled by that power. In order to truly create such a relationship, it is necessary to have a strong heart that keeps you from becoming overconfident. I am well aware of how great your power is, but you still lack the heart to fully master it.
Smallville Season 8 episode 4
Clark: I know she's not the one, but... it got me to thinking. Chloe showed me this love letter she wrote to me years ago, and... her feelings were really intense. And Chloe was right there in front of me, and I never realized how she felt. What if my soul mate comes along and I'm too blind to see it? 48F063E8.JPG
Lois: I don't know, Smallville(this refers to clark kent). I think... that when the right girl walks into your life... you'll know.
Earlier on when I was fetching my sister from school, I stumbled upon my old RSM back when I was with my army unit in national service. I called out his name from far. He acknowledged me with a sense of familiarity. We exchanged formalities and asked one another what we've been up to.
He seemed nice, unlike back then. I suppose one has to put on a 'role' when he is assigned to his task. Being the RSM is akin to being a discipline master of a school. We, the Regimental Police(RP), were akin to prefects that transforms to coolies when needed.
We chatted for a while, then he struck a pose. One which is deep in thought, almost epiphanic. Typical 'drama mama' of him. By the way, he's Indian.
He said, "I can foresee the future...." *LOL* Then he started out dishing out some fatherly advice about how in the future one needs to have at least a diploma. A diploma would only be enough for me to cover myself; would not be enough for family. After which, I would need to continuosly upgrade myself in that particular field.
Then comes the touching part. He opened up that life in the army is hard. Although he has 5 day work week now, he would need to work late nights. He has 4 small children to take care of. He went on to say that by right, he should have been a master warrant officer by now. I took glance on his ampulets, and true enough he was still a 1st Warrant Officer like he was 7 years back(man... how time flies). Hard work does not account to anything if you don't have the qualifications. All you need is the qualification, that's enough to justify a promotion. Pretty sincere sharing on his part. I felt his pain.
He went on to dish out things like I should not get married before I am stable and pointed out the broken marriages than happens when Malay couples get married way too young. He went on to say that I need to be Chinese minded.
I am reminded at how he used to scold the RPs. Our guardroom was 'kampung melayu'. The RPs were all Malays. Don't ask me why... more often than not, it's a common phenomena throughout most military camps in Singapore. We he gets angry with us among his favourite phrase was, "You know why many Malays are lazy?..... because you all eat too many belacan!!"
As Malays, we feel a little offended and hurt, especially when you are at '45-degree-to-the-left-position' when we are at the receiving end of his lecture. But we are quick to dismiss the validity of the argument. Our generation of Malays are not well acquainted with the belacan(prawn paste). We also agree that its just too funny to take it to heart.
That small exchange triggered many things:
1. My educational future 2. My financial future 3. My future ... 4. The fate of my Malay/Muslim community (who to champion the change)
He seemed delighted when I told him that I am pursuing my diploma... that's a start.
All day Staring at the ceiling Making friends with shadows on my wall All night Hearing voices telling me That I should get some sleep Because tomorrow might be good for something Hold on I'm feeling like I'm headed for a Breakdown I don't know why I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Me Talking to myself in public Dodging glances on the train I know I know they've all been talking 'bout me I can hear them whisper And it makes me think there must be something wrong With me Out of all the hours thinking Somehow I've lost my mind I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired I know right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be I been talking in my sleep Pretty soon they'll come to get me Yeah, they're taking me away I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell I know, right now you can't tell But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired I know, right now you don't care But soon enough you're gonna think of me And how I used to be Hey, how I used to be How I used to be, yeah Well I'm just a little unwell How I used to be How I used to be
Man has a tendency to focus on what he is deprived from. Be it health or wealth. Partly its built-in to man's survival mechanism. When we injure ourselves, we will feel the pain. Pain is a signal for us to attend to the problem.
Pain, or challenges in life, becomes a problem when we mull over it extensively and starts to engage in self-pity. Being overly optimistic probably can't all that good either if we end up in wishful thinking. So I remind myself not to end up in the either one of the extreme states.
Having said that, my week had been interesting. I was not feeling well for most of the week... always a good opportunity to just let go and reflect.
On a higher note, March and April and the birthday months for everyone in our house except me. 30th March was Nadia's.
I had a conversation with my other siblings, those 21 and above. We were thinking of the presents we had given to our little sisters for the past years. We agreed that the presents we gave were things that we would have wanted when we were smaller.... and we are guilty of playing with the stuffs we gave to our little sisters(buang gian).
I personally find nothing wrong with that as we will be genuinely happy for them!! At the same time, we can teach the value of sharing :p
In the end its not the present that matters, what matters is the time we spend with one another. If a present helps in that process... so be it. As the older one, I see the challenges that my siblings would have to face. My job is to remind them when it's due. I see myself when I was her age in Nadia... and I'll do my best to guide her.
So young yet so stressed out. Kids shouldn't grow up like that. But some of us do... and it's mainly from self-expectation, not from external factors. We want to be perfect. We are the naturally driven types... but we need to have a purpose. For the kid, it could be trying to be the perfect student, trying to be the pride of the parents. It becomes hard when we fail to master the basics of self-expression. When we fall, we fall hard. We might even get our very psychological concept of 'Self' torn apart. When that happens, it's a tough process to recover without the proper intervention.
I went to catch my first movie ever on Malaysian soil last Tuesday. My eldest bro drove us to JB's City Square to catch Geng : Pengemberaan Bermula. I always use my little sisters Ainul and Nadia to justify the need to watch cartoons. Another excuse that I use is... "It's for research." And its true for both cases to some extend. I also watch them because its fun.
Dad decided to tag along also and hence the 5 of us made our way to JB for the 11.40 show. City Square is very Orchard Road. The movie theatre, being run by Cathay makes the experience no different than going to a local cinema. The only difference is that the people around us are mainly Malays and there's a proper mussolah just around the corner.
Yeah... and the ticket costs RM5 off-peak.
The show itself is pretty good. As expected, there were funny moments splattered throughout the movie. The script was good. It felt natural. It's nice to see an animation with a kampung setting. However, the show got a little mundane for me with too many chasing sequence. But the little twist in the storyline saved the movie in the end. Overall, like my brother said the movie was a little too fantasy for a Malaysian show. I agree but it's also a matter of what we are accustomed to and what we've come to expect.
It's a great movie for kids to enjoy but surprising a tad violent from what I expected from Upin and Ipin. Parents discretion is advised. For adults, it's a good to sit through for a good laugh. The movie lacked that strong emotional appeal which shows like Meet the Robinsons and Happy Feet are good at. A strong moral theme is also lacking. It feels more just like an adventurous ride. But still, an awesome experience. Spurred me to embark on my own personal animation project for this holiday.
I am finally done with Studio Project 4. Here's what the team of 5 people came up with after 3 weeks hard work.
The 3 weeks brought back some of the competitive drive in me. Out of the 3 weeks, I had a 1 and a half day of TOS down time. I had a feel of a cooped up project setting. Just need to physically and mentally prepare myself for the 3 months of FYP next school year.
Alhamdulillah. I will be doing my modules first which means holidays first. I probably wouldn't be able to take it if I were to start my FYP only after a weekend of break.
Dreading the drawing module next semester. I may need to do what I did this semester again. Meticulously planning to skip certain classes to nurse myself back to health. I do this just so that I have better efficiency in the long run to complete the assignments on time. Explaining my real situation the the lecturers only when I have to. Swallowing pride by submitting only what I can.
The coming semester should be easier as there is only one 'killer' module. The other modules would probably be challenging in other ways but the drawing module would definitely be physically taxing for me.
TOS helped me narrow down things to specialize on. :) Drawing and pre-production designs are definitely out. I plan to enjoy my year ahead. Good work and putting my best equates self-satisfaction. I still doubt that I would be able to make this line a career but the experience from SP4 helped tipped the scale a little to the other side.
Man fear the unknown. I fear the future. But it is liberating to accept that some things are just beyond our control. Like what the our future holds for us. I don't mean we should not have goals and not work towards them. We just do what is humanly possibly within the syariah of Allah. Everything else is up to HIM to decide what's best for us.
Anyway, that's what makes life interesting. You wouldn't want your friends telling you the ending of a movie. You would prefer to sit through the movie yourself.
Halfway through Studio Project 4. Already on the animation stage of production. The past 1 and a half week has been intense. I learnt a lot.
"The best lessons are learning things you already know." That's what SP4 feels like to me. Reaffirming and applying things that I already know. Learning new things too at the same time; from one another and from our lecturers.
These TOS inflicted pair of hands in front of me are still able to play a role in a team. I can leave the the storyboard drawing and painting of the textures to those who can do it. Let me do what I can still do. Can't wait to see the finish product.
Still too early for celebrations....but I already some ideas in mind to mark the end of this semester. :)
A couple days ago I stumbled upon an old secondary school friend. He was on his way to HDB office to pay for his motorcycle parking coupon. Being the self-proclaimed technology-savvy person that I am, I was only too happy to share with him how paying the parking through HDB's online portal made my life lazier easier. You don't need fancy credit cards. A debit card or a POSB GO! card can do the same job of online transactions without the burden of being in debt.
Speaking of my 'gonna expire next year' debit card, DBS is giving me a free SWATCH for being among the first 1,200 people to charge a certain amount to the card. Yay! About time too. My old watch strap have seen better days.
Busy weeks ahead.... Studio Project 4!! Having pretty positive vibe with the team that I am working with. TOS is still at the back of my mind but I am managing it pretty fine for now.
The clock started to tick again for after 2 long years.
This blog is in dire need of neutral and positive entries lest it turns out to be one of those whiny blogs. Not to my taste.... but carry on if it works for you.
2009. This year marks the 5th year that I am taking the SPI class in PERGAS. It is also the 5th year of me undergoing the harfiyah class. I am still hoping that more people will show more interest and ask me what this harfiyah class is all about.
I'm getting a revitalized drive to attend the class. Nothing beats competition. A healthy competition is always good. 2 new guys of about my age joined the class recently. They have been following the same system not even a year now. But masyaAllah, the determination of especially one of them is tremendous. Very proactive guy who asks questions and the kind that even I benefit from. Alhamdulillah. Not that I don't ask question but I can learn from his go-getter kind of attitude. Verily Allah will let the effort of his creations go to waste.
PERGAS class is just as interesting. Our afternoon class which was the only class at wisma indah last year are told to join the morning session. This equates to more classmates and more social time. Usually we would spend most of our half hour break with Asar. Now we have a good half hour to socialize over coffee. Some of these new classmates are people whom I've crossed path with before and would want to get to know them better.
It feels quite different having many schoolmates and classmates again since we were the only class last year and one of two classes the year before. Though a small class has its benefits I'm sure there are benefits of its own in this bigger class.
I especially like our Ustaz for Hadith and Fiqh. Very engaging and interactive. The class is very responsive. Makes the learning experience fun and time simply flies by.
All these makes me see how the dynamics of a class depends on both the teacher and the students. As students, we should play our part to the fullest.
And I'd give up forever to touch you Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment And all I can breathe is your life Cause sooner or later it's over I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming Or the moment of truth in your lies When everything seems like the movies Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me Cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am I just want you to know who I am
Note to self: Some things needs to be left to the professionals.
I was feeling that the current set of exercises to relief my symptoms were not effective and had been trying some new exercises.... bad move.
After my pergas class, which was awesome (new year, new people), I started to feel feverish and shivering. I have been constantly feeling on the verge of fever the last couple of weeks. So I ended up spending my late afternoon in bed feverish and shivering.
That was the second time I shivered like crazy due to TOS. The first one was last year... that was even worse to a point that enough was enough.... I had to do an MRI.
I am feeling pretty alright now. I feel like something got washed out of my system with that bout of shivering. But still, I shall return to the old stretching exercises... maybe add new ones incrementally. Preferably with advise of a PT or an OT.
Shivering like that also reminded me of Surah al-Muzzamil(orang yang berselimut). This was of course a reference to Rasulullah who was shivering in fear after the voice of angel Jibril. That tafsir class (i think 2-3 years ago) really touched me. Especially since I was just starting to get acquainted with NYPMS. There are many lessons we can learn from the surah.... I shall just name one.
Its regarding the few people who wake up at night to pray and supplicate to Allah. Qiyamullail was made fardhu to Rasulullah and his companions for the first one year. This taught them discipline and resilience for the coming trials. We can learn from this in that we need to prepare ourselves and build up our resilience to challenges to come. I also learn that in this world, by Allah's will, there is a concept of cause and effect. Indeed if there isn't such a concept, man will be in a constant state of confusion not knowing what to make head of tails of things. If you want to achieve something, you will need to go through a certain process. Going through this process will require patience. And always remember that Allah is with those who are patient. Wallahu'alam.
I am at the point of my semester when Thoracic Outlet Syndrome snuck up on me last year. Emo episodes aside, it was quite a leap to finally decide to continue with the same course. One of the things that drove me on was the fact that I believed that I can train up my left end to be better and depend on it to get me through the course. I aimed to be as proficient with my left hand as my right by the end of last year.
I kept on training my left hand even though there were signs that my left arm were not spared from the symptoms my right arm is faced with. I denied the pain existed, refused to admit there is a problem. It finally caught up with me. My left hand is roughly about 60% as adept as my right..... probably having the proportionate amount of pain as well now.
It feels like I'm going through the same thing last year all over again. I think I am better prepared this time round. This probably isn't as bad as it seems to me right now. I should not have lifted the benches and that severed buttress root at work. That is probably what's aggravating the pain that I'm having right now. I really need to understand my limits. That was last Saturday, the pain peaked last Monday. I'm taking this week cautiously. Gonna have to keep on with the stretching exercises as well.
The thought of finally finishing this semester always make me smile..... but there are still obstacles in the coming weeks. I don't mean to whine but I'm just not strong enough to keep everything in. I'm just letting a little bit out here. Pray for me that I'll get through the weeks ahead. Pray for Gaza as well.
It's not all bad though, in fact if I react appropriately, the whole experience should make me stronger. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.... cliche but true. But that.... you've got to experience yourself. A friend once told me that I need to make a decision a stick to it.... I'll try, for a lot is at stake.
At the very least, I can say that the whole experience managed to make me ambidextrous.... even if it means having to rest my arms for some time in between artworks. Shouldn't that make my art pieces more valuable??
Here's one I did totally with my left hand. Still can't don the fine line works with my left hand.... but I can rightfully claim to be ambidextrous can't I?
I feel helpless thinking about the fate of Gaza.... The challenges that I face as an individual in Singapore pales in comparison with the people who have to live in constant fear.
All I can do is pray and strive to raise myself to a position where I can affect change.
Could it be .... the mark of the prophesied one? Just look at the mark.
The one who bears the mark is prophesied to pay overdue fine if he does not stop procrastinating sending his bike for vehicle inspection and renewing his insurance and road tax.
"Now, where did I keep my vehicle inspection notice.... Gosh! It's already happening!!" -MEREPEK!!- ... seriously, where is it??
