Saturday, January 24, 2009 at 10:43 PM | 0 comments  
This blog is in dire need of neutral and positive entries lest it turns out to be one of those whiny blogs. Not to my taste.... but carry on if it works for you.

2009. This year marks the 5th year that I am taking the SPI class in PERGAS. It is also the 5th year of me undergoing the harfiyah class. I am still hoping that more people will show more interest and ask me what this harfiyah class is all about. 

I'm getting a revitalized drive to attend the class. Nothing beats competition. A healthy competition is always good. 2 new guys of about my age joined the class recently. They have been following the same system not even a year now. But masyaAllah, the determination of especially one of them is tremendous. Very proactive guy who asks questions and the kind that even I benefit from. Alhamdulillah. Not that I don't ask question but I can learn from his go-getter kind of attitude. Verily Allah will let the effort of his creations go to waste. 

PERGAS class is just as interesting. Our afternoon class which was the only class at wisma indah last year are told to join the morning session. This equates to more classmates and more social time. Usually we would spend most of our half hour break with Asar. Now we have a good half hour to socialize over coffee. Some of these new classmates are people whom I've crossed path with before and would want to get to know them better.

It feels quite different having many schoolmates and classmates again since we were the only class last year and one of two classes the year before. Though a small class has its benefits I'm sure there are benefits of its own in this bigger class.

I especially like our Ustaz for Hadith and Fiqh. Very engaging and interactive. The class is very responsive. Makes the learning experience fun and time simply flies by. 

All these makes me see how the dynamics of a class depends on both the teacher and the students. As students, we should play our part to the fullest. 


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Friday, January 16, 2009 at 1:26 AM | 0 comments  


At times I allow myself to feel this way....


IRIS
Goo Goo Dolls

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am


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Sunday, January 11, 2009 at 9:39 PM | 0 comments  
Note to self: Some things needs to be left to the professionals.

I was feeling that the current set of exercises to relief my symptoms were not effective and had been trying some new exercises.... bad move. 

After my pergas class, which was awesome (new year, new people), I started to feel feverish and shivering. I have been constantly feeling on the verge of fever the last couple of weeks. So I ended up spending my late afternoon in bed feverish and shivering. 

That was the second time I shivered like crazy due to TOS. The first one was last year... that was even worse to a point that enough was enough.... I had to do an MRI.

I am feeling pretty alright now. I feel like something got washed out of my system with that bout of shivering. But still, I shall return to the old stretching exercises... maybe add new ones incrementally. Preferably with advise of a PT or an OT. 

Shivering like that also reminded me of Surah al-Muzzamil(orang yang berselimut). This was of course a reference to Rasulullah who was shivering in fear after the voice of angel Jibril. That tafsir class (i think 2-3 years ago) really touched me. Especially since I was just starting to get acquainted with NYPMS. There are many lessons we can learn from the surah.... I shall just name one. 

Its regarding the few people who wake up at night to pray and supplicate to Allah. Qiyamullail was made fardhu to Rasulullah and his companions for the first one year. This taught them discipline and resilience for the coming trials. We can learn from this in that we need to prepare ourselves and build up our resilience to challenges to come. I also learn that in this world, by Allah's will, there is a concept of cause and effect. Indeed if there isn't such a concept, man will be in a constant state of confusion not knowing what to make head of tails of things. If you want to achieve something, you will need to go through a certain process. Going through this process will require patience. And always remember that Allah is with those who are patient. Wallahu'alam.


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Saturday, January 10, 2009 at 11:45 PM | 0 comments  
I stumbled upon a support group forum for people with TOS. I really think that will help me through the tough weeks ahead.
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Friday, January 9, 2009 at 12:40 AM | 0 comments  
I am at the point of my semester when Thoracic Outlet Syndrome snuck up on me last year. Emo episodes aside, it was quite a leap to finally decide to continue with the same course. One of the things that drove me on was the fact that I believed that I can train up my left end to be better and depend on it to get me through the course. I aimed to be as proficient with my left hand as my right by the end of last year.

I kept on training my left hand even though there were signs that my left arm were not spared from the symptoms my right arm is faced with. I denied the pain existed, refused to admit there is a problem. It finally caught up with me. My left hand is roughly about 60% as adept as my right..... probably having the proportionate amount of pain as well now. 

It feels like I'm going through the same thing last year all over again. I think I am better prepared this time round. This probably isn't as bad as it seems to me right now. I should not have lifted the benches and that severed buttress root at work. That is probably what's aggravating the pain that I'm having right now. I really need to understand my limits. That was last Saturday, the pain peaked last Monday. I'm taking this week cautiously. Gonna have to keep on with the stretching exercises as well.

The thought of finally finishing this semester always make me smile..... but there are still obstacles in the coming weeks. I don't mean to whine but I'm just not strong enough to keep everything in. I'm just letting a little bit out here. Pray for me that I'll get through the weeks ahead. Pray for Gaza as well.

It's not all bad though, in fact if I react appropriately, the whole experience should make me stronger. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.... cliche but true. But that.... you've got to experience yourself. A friend once told me that I need to make a decision a stick to it.... I'll try, for a lot is at stake.

At the very least, I can say that the whole experience managed to make me ambidextrous.... even if it means having to rest my arms for some time in between artworks. Shouldn't that make my art pieces more valuable?? 

Here's one I did totally with my left hand. Still can't don the fine line works with my left hand.... but I can rightfully claim to be ambidextrous can't I?




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Sunday, January 4, 2009 at 8:09 PM | 0 comments  
I feel helpless thinking about the fate of Gaza.... The challenges that I face as an individual in Singapore pales in comparison with the people who have to live in constant fear.

All I can do is pray and strive to raise myself to a position where I can affect change.
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Saturday, January 3, 2009 at 9:16 PM | 0 comments  
Could it be .... the mark of the prophesied one? Just look at the mark.



The one who bears the mark is prophesied to pay overdue fine if he does not stop procrastinating sending his bike for vehicle inspection and renewing his insurance and road tax.

"Now, where did I keep my vehicle inspection notice.... Gosh! It's already happening!!" -MEREPEK!!- ... seriously, where is it??
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