Monday, October 27, 2008
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11:25 PM
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 Siti Nurul Nadia Ainul Sariyah with Bear Bear
I started to delve on why Ainul was able to learn how to ride so fast. I attribute why it was so to a couple of things. Firstly she's already in K2 when someone (me) finally bothered to teach her how to ride the bicycle. It's considerably older than other kids learning how to cycle out there. A more important factor is probably because she already understands the concept of balance. She's already a pro on her blue kick scooter prior to this. It's applying the same concept on a different tool.
At that point in time, I was just beginning to force myself to be proficient with my left hand. I was able to relate my situation to this incident.
"Maybe it won't take another 20 years to learn writing with my other hand."
"It's just switching tools, it's not like I have to re-learn the artistic skills. I just need to learn how to control it."
And I said thank you to Allah for that little motivation in my journey towards ambidexterity.
Another motivation came in a form of an obvious question by a colleague, "Kalau kau hari-hari draw, ko nyer drawing makin bagus. Betul eh?" He asked that question because he has a younger brother who became obsessed of drawing quite recently.
A part of me wanted to reply, "Isn't that obvious. Of course lar."
I managed to give a nice reply, "Betul ar."
Moments later I felt that question was directed more towards me. If I want to become better with my left hand I just need to practise continuosly.... obvious kan. My heart said my thanks again.
With these two micro-epiphanies, the choice was still left for me to make. Continue with the struggle or concede defeat to the challenge. If I choose the latter, I remind myself that I will be no better than the musyriks who turn their backs from the Truth even after witnessing it with their own eyes.
Once I mastered my left hand, it'll be like riding a bicycle. I won't forget how to do so. My journey continues.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
ambidextrous,
little sisters
Sunday, October 26, 2008
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11:53 AM
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Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
photography,
sbg
Friday, October 24, 2008
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7:41 PM
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2 weeks of second semester has passed by. How has school been for me? Apart from the modules that I am re-re-taking, I am taking a module which is new to me. I pleaded my course coordinator to let me take Digital Photography. I'm glad I did it. It's definitely a break from my monotonous existence. A breath of fresh air. Learning is easier when it's fun. I bought a DSLR camera for the course and also partly for NYPMS Network Jalan Rayer. Bought a second hand one. I still don't know how serious a photographer I will be, a second hand entry level one should do just fine for now. The best part is that taking photos does not affect my hand like drawing does.
I started the semester with my right arm still very susceptible to pain and my left arm as back-up. My right arm will still go weak and pain will run up to my shoulders and back after extended use. My left arm is still unable write and draw at the level that I need for my course.
Drawing class is the one that I dreaded the most but so far it has been pretty okay. I am able to zone out from the pain when I need to for the class. It's a different story later on in the day... but i have learnt that complaining is not going to anyone any good. All I can do is suck thumb...nah...physio exercises does help reduce the pain.... but I will have days when I just get bored of it and forego. Lepas tu tanggung ar sendiri.
At times the pain will be bad enough to distract me and I will start feeling like a druggie who can't wait for the next fix. Panadol Extra would seem heavenly at that point in time but so far I have still yet to resort to painkillers. I also considered muscle relaxants.
The heaviest part to everything would have to be my mental stamina. I do zone out and start wondering why am I still doing this? I try to distract myself in my own head when I need to... it gets boring learning the same thing. I will start thinking of anything and everything... I would start thinking and am still thinking ... "Man, I should really celebrate in a big way when I get this semester over and done with!!" It should be something special... something special enough that will motivate me to go through another 16 weeks. I am open to suggestions.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
ambidextrous,
dmd
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
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10:51 AM
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 I am having a blast with Corel Painter!!! Currently working on this Gaara character from the Naruto anime series. I'm doing this for a friend. If time permits I will re-do mainly the lower part. I am not happy with the proportion.
I should have known by now not to start with the line work until the proportions are good. I should have stepped away from the art work and come back later to it with a fresh perspective.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
digital painting,
WIP
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
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11:15 PM
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~ taking a break from digital painting and listening to Collide
Got my timetable yesterday. I will finally return to school next week on 14 Oct. Growing accustomed to the pain on my right hand. As of this instance, the shoulder hurts the most. There's pain in the right side of the neck. There's some irritation along the ulnar nerve to the tip of my 4th finger and my middle finger. This is a little strange cos its usually the 4th and the pinkie.
Should I worry that school is less than a week now and the pain still persists? I admit that it is not the easiest decision to make. To finish up and get that diploma considering the circumstances that I am in. With other responsibilities taken into consideration, quitting and getting a job instead seemed like a tempting option. Though the choice that I choose still seems daunting, I brush the feeling of doubt aside and replace it with faith...
The faith in the answer to my istikharah. This time round I got my answer in the form of a dream. I dreamt that I was back in school in the new semester. I never got my istikharah answer through a dream before. Not that I've performed many istikharahs prior to this. In fact it was only one other time. It was also for a choice that involved my education.
Allah has taught us ways to seek help but man (referring to myself especially) are sometimes too stubborn to humble themselves and ask help from Allah. "You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything)." (Al-Fatiha : 5)
Jangan segan-silu, jangan ego-ego.Let us seek help from Him when we need to. Takkan nak cari jodoh baru nak istikarah. I admit that's a valid area of concern but there are other important choices that we need to make along the way in life.
~ now back to work
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
dmd,
islam,
struggle
Thursday, October 2, 2008
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11:09 PM
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I am obliged to have at least one entry about Hari Raya... so here it goes.
This year the guys in the family, along with grandmother prayed the eid prayers at Masjid Ahmad Ibrahim. The mosque looks different now after the renovation. The last time I stepped foot there was during one of NYPMS/NI visiting.
Just wanna point out that sometimes, when we say a phrase too often, we lose its meaning. Let's take "Selamat Hari Raya" for instance. Isn't it a little queer to wish everyone "Safe Celebration Day". I suppose it is a reflection of our collective Malay mindset. The 'better be safe' and 'let's wait and see' attitude. The use "Selamat" is seen in other greetings like to newly-wed couples and for birthdays. (In a Singapore's Most Wanted Man poster as well.)
Eid Mubarak has a more god-conscious feel to it. There is that concept of barakah in that greeting. Therefore I challenge myself and others to make people think by greeting in a slightly different way. Try going for 'Happy Hari Raya' or 'Selamat menyambut kembalinya fitrah'. The latter would definitely make one reflect if they deserve to be celebrating in the first place.
I end this by saying, "Have a joyous Eid. Let's bask in victory of this joyous occation. I seek forgiveness to everyone for the bad deeds that I have done against you."
"Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf Zahir dan Batin." Dangs... it's hard to beat the classic. *hypocrite* I just demonstrated the nature of change... it's so bloody difficult. It takes a constant conscious effort.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
Hari Raya
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Siti Nurul Nadia
Ainul Sariyah with Bear Bear
