my chronicles

Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 7:34 AM | 0 comments

Last Saturday, I rushed from NYP to make myself present for this mother's day event. It was a lunch/charity/mother's day event. Mothers were presented with a rose upon entry. The whole family was there including our maternal grandmother and sis-in-law. Dad decided to attend and bought his ticket on the day itself, and ended up sitting at a table with the star-performer for the day, Didicazli.

But we were there to see our smallest one perform. Our littlest sister was performing a skit, together with some of her kindergarten2 classmates. She played the part of Alqamah's mother. Her teacher was saying how great she was at the role to mum prior to the performance, we had to see it ourselves.

I felt little sis could have done better with her facial expressions but she was able to deliver her lines well. She took her role seriously unlike some of her classmates... but of course, that is to be expected of most kids their age.

Once, while lying down in bed at home, she lamented that she preferred the role of Alqamah cause she would only need to lie down ~ then she pretended to have fits and pretended to die. LOL!

Other than the skit, there were performances in the form of nasyid and poetry by other students. I know nuts about the local malay music but the performance by Didicazli was pretty alright. However, in my opinion, the muazzin of En-Naeem Mosque sounded so much better. I was somewhat mesmerized. There was also a mini forum session towards the end.

We even got to bring back lucky draw prizes. Big bro and Dad were the lucky ones. The whole event has a warm feeling to it. It was a nice day out to celebrate the 2 mothers in our family.

Posted by Firdaus Labels: family, little sisters

Haggle

Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 2:53 AM | 2 comments

Went to Sim Lim Square to get power supply for my computer and also some CD-Rs. I've been wanting to check out the prices of video cameras and decided to do so during this trip to Sim Lim Square. Checking out = Don't wanna buy yet

The first few shops I passed by sells video cameras. And so, I began asking how much the professional video cameras were. I ended up saying that I was looking for something in the thousand plus range. The salesman recommended a HD DV cam. He was saying that the DV cam was superior over the pro cameras since it uses it hard disk instead of tapes. When I asked how much it was, he took out a calculator and typed out 1250.

"What's the deal with salesman and calculators?... just say out the price lar."

He was keen to demonstrate the functions and I played along.

Talking. Demonstrating. Talking. Comparing with other models. Talking.

"I give you special price," he said. Took the calculator and entered 1100.

Talking. Demonstrating. Talking. Browse magazine. Talking.

"I give you complete set," With lens and tripod. I began to get tempted... alas, i was just checking out the prices. So I told him that I'll think about it. All these while, I wasn't the one haggling. He was the one who slashed the price. I was merely playing the hesitant buyer.

As I went out of the shop, he said 900. By this time, I was wondering to myself. "This guy is either too desperate or he marked up the price so high that he's able to slash the price by $350 and add stuffs to it."

It's probably a bit of both. I am not the type who would ask for a discount except for certain known places where you are an idiot if you don't do this haggling routine.

It's a common marketing ploy to mark up your prices and set the minimum that you are willing to sell. Of course, still at a profit. I suppose some people enjoy playing the haggling game. I personally find it a tad of an annoyance.

And what's with the calculator?? It's probably yet another ploy so that the haggling game remains between one prospective buyer and the salesman..... therefore not influencing another prospective buyer.

This incident proofs to me that perhaps, haggling is something that I have to engage in(like it or not)..... not because I am crazy for a bargain, but because I wanna get a reasonable deal and not be at the losing end.

I went on to get my power supply and CD-Rs. Before making the payment, with the incident still fresh in my mind... I said, "Can discount?"

I got a $5 discount. I could have pushed my luck and asked for more discount.... but haggling is not my thing.

Posted by Firdaus Labels: random musings

Sooner or Later

Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 11:56 PM | 0 comments

A secondary school teacher of mine,Mr MacDonald, tried to proof to us that it doesn't take long to write a journal entry. One of things I had to do for class. Basically he played Eric Clapton's Tear's a Heaven. A song he wrote about how his toddler fell down to his death from his apartment. So, we basically go on writing in our journal whatever was flowing in our mind be it in response to the song or not.

This is to the tune of Breaking Benjamin's Sooner or Later

I feeling kinda tired of my own blog. Mainly because it seems to speak a lot of negativity of late. I don't like it that way. Many times, I tried blogging something but got tired to continue and ended up abandoning the idea. Hence the idea of just filling up the blank of this page by the method that I remembered from secondary school.

Probably not going to make much sense reading this randomness. Sooner or later is the title of this song. Speaks a lot about life I suppose. Something happens sooner or later. Later seems more likely for me regarding certain things. Yar... all 3.38min is up.

Posted by Firdaus Labels: random musings

Speed Painting

Friday, April 25, 2008 at 5:04 PM | 0 comments

I have been spending time watching speed painting videos on youtube. Sparked a renewed interest in photoshop. My first attempt to a semi-realistic digital painting. I mean, the first attempt whereby I somewhat completed. It can probably use some touching up. After some touching up, it'll be portfolio worthy.

The hand situation looks good for now though I don't know what's the implication of my wasted right deltoid. 4 more days till medical review.

Posted by Firdaus Labels: digital painting

biasa jer

Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 10:10 PM | 0 comments

This blog namesake of an entry is just to state the situation that I am in right now. For eventually, others will find out. 'Biasa jer' itself is somewhat a denial of my current state. It's less of denying my current state but more of 'let's not make a big deal out of it'.

It's no surprise to find out that, not all is well in Firdaus Land if you were able to read in between the lines of my previous entries since last December. What am I talking about?

In the middle of last semester, I found myself unable to do my assignments due to an intense numbing pain on my right hand. Visits to doctors and an EMG later, I found out that the numbness originated from my spine. I was also told to do an MRI just to be sure.

For an animator/designer in training, the prospect seems scary and inspired entries such as this and this. Of course I have to continuously strive to be positive about it like the times such as this and this.

Apart from dealing with the pain, I had to think about my education and my future. I got myself deferred in last semester. I also managed to get an extension to my deferment this semester. Alhamdulillah. This will at least give me time to make a well thought out decision of my future.

Mentally stronger in dealing with the pain. Even the pain is not as bad. I'll have a week more before I get to hear what the doctor has to say. Physiotherapy session at NYP later today.

Such is my unorthodox existence and I shall carry on living it.

Posted by Firdaus Labels: about me, random musings

$100 lesson on that intangible feeling

Sunday, April 6, 2008 at 11:09 PM | 0 comments

This happened on 28 March 2008.

The story
It began with me waking up with a lingering memory of a dream(the nocturnal, when you got to sleep, REM type) I just had.

In this dream, I was a soldier. I remember vividly attaching a bayonet to my M-16 rifle. The atmosphere was dark and damp. All hell breaks loose kind of situation. I was snooping around and fired my rounds at 3 soldiers. I killed them. They were from my own platoon. But deep inside, I knew they were actually traitors. However, I knew that my superiors and other platoon mates would not believe me if I told them. So, I took matters at my own hands and went rifle frenzy. I riddled my rounds especially on one particular soldier.

After doing so, I felt that I was doomed. I tried to find a way out. I knew I had to return my arms(rifle and ammunition) eventually. I would be questionable of my missing rounds. They would eventually find out that it was my doing; killing those 3 soldiers. After pondering for some time, I felt it was best that I surrendered and serve 2 or 3 years jail time(What!!! 2-3 years for murder!!... it was a dream... remember, doesn't have to make much sense).

That was the dream that I had. I remembered something regarding dreams from Ustaz Iqbal's short sermons. Tafsir on surah Yusuf; still ongoing on Fridays nights after Maghrib(technically Saturday... you know what I mean). He was telling the jemaah(boleh kira dua tangan), a story which reflects Rasulullah's stance on nightmares.

I am going to simplify the story... A woman came to Rasulullah and told him of a dream she had of her husband. She asked Rasulullah what the dream meant. Rasulullah knew it was a bad sign but told the woman that her husband was safe(the husband was musafir at that point). The woman had the dreams over and over again. Every time, she would worry and seek Rasulullah's opinion to the meaning of the dream. Everytime, Rasulullah would reassure her that it was a good sign and her husband was safe. One day, Rasulullah was not home and the woman was again, seeking reassurance of the dream she had. Instead, it was Rasulullah's wife, Aisyah, who attended to the woman. She told her that the dream was a bad sign. The woman was devastated. Soon after, the woman received news that her husband had passed away. [correct me of the details if I'm wrong].

Back to my story, the lesson from this story is that we should not interpret a nightmare lest it will come true.

Apparently knowing is one thing, doing is another. I tried not to interpret the dream. It didn't take me long before I interpret the dream as "I'm going to do something I'll regret." I tried to ignore the feeling and got on with the day.

Soon it was time to send my 6 year-old sister to school on my motorcycle. I had a brief strange feeling but nothing more.

I went home, did some things and it was time to fetch my sister. Going down the stairs to my motorcycle, the sensation that I had earlier in the day grew tremendously. I was starting to feel very uneasy. I was feeling that it was better for me to take the bus instead, but i couldn't as I was running late and I needed to fetch my sister. When I started my motorcycle, I thought to myself, "Maybe, I'll take the bus home with my sister when I get there."

Throughout the journey, I felt uneasy. Reached the mosque(kindergarten in the mosque) to fetch my sister and carried on with my journey. With my sister as the pillion, all I could do was to recite verses. I still felt very uneasy. All these while, I was trying to rationalize the feeling away. I was telling myself that I was just being paranoid.

Strangely, at the same time, I wanted something to happen. I wanted to believe that something will happen. That's why, for the most part, I did not react to the feeling. I wanted to see if something really happens.

I was at the last turn towards home, feeling somewhat disappointed that nothing had happened. And then, there it was. Upon turning, 3 traffic police officers were just there standing around with their ever-so-cool motorbikes. I was flagged to stop... and I did. It not so much the feeling of regret that I had, but I was more at awe at the fact that something actually happened.

Carrying a pillion under the age of 10 is a traffic offence. The first thing I asked was, "Will my license be revoked or something?" Alhamdulillah, I was told that it won't. I was asked to take out my driving(riding) license and IC. The officer had a good look at me. He asked how old my sister was. It took some processing time. I glanced around to fully realize there were 3 of them. The 3 soldiers in the dream. 3 officers = 3 soldiers. That one soldier who got extra bullets from me was the officer who stopped me. In the end, I was slapped with a $100 fine. No demerit points.

He was very professional at doing at what he does. Courteous throughout. I would have gone out of my way to write a letter of commendation...... if he had not booked me.

Not the best of times for me to get fined. Heck, it's never good to get fined.

Some things lost(money), but some things gained(lessons). More than ever, I believe. I believe in that intangible feeling(tahap ainul yaqin kot). There are valuable lessons to learn here. I will pay more attention to these feelings in the future.

From that day on, I've been sending and fetching my sister the old way. With my bike, the type which you need to paddle. It's a good change. Though I have to painfully cycle to and fro, it's actually nothing new to me. I've done that with my other younger siblings, all 3 of them. Fetching and sending them to school with my bicycle.

I'll share more about that intangible feeling and the lessons learnt in future posts. For now, I'll sign off with a disclaimer:

Just know that I felt very safe to pillion my sister on my motorcycle. I took time, cost of travel and pain as a deciding factor. Anyway, it was just 5 minutes of travel on my bike to her school. Taking the bus would cost more and takes more time. Cycling also takes more time and I perceived a lot of pain because of the condition that I am in right now. It turns out that its not so bad if I position my body the right way while cycling.

Posted by Firdaus Labels: feelings, little sisters, random musings, road

Cyborg

Thursday, April 3, 2008 at 11:49 PM | 0 comments

Cyborg: "My body may have its limitations, but when I put my mind to it, there's nothing I can't do." (Only Human : Season 2 episode 4)

Posted by Firdaus Labels: for me

Blog Archive

Pit Stops


		Mother's Day @ En-Naeem Sunday, May 18, 2008 at 7:34 AM \| 0 comments Last Saturday, I rushed from NYP to make myself present for this mother's day event. It was a lunch/charity/mother's day event. Mothers were presented with a rose upon entry. The whole family was there including our maternal grandmother and sis-in-law. Dad decided to attend and bought his ticket on the day itself, and ended up sitting at a table with the star-performer for the day, Didicazli. But we were there to see our smallest one perform. Our littlest sister was performing a skit, together with some of her kindergarten2 classmates. She played the part of Alqamah's mother. Her teacher was saying how great she was at the role to mum prior to the performance, we had to see it ourselves. I felt little sis could have done better with her facial expressions but she was able to deliver her lines well. She took her role seriously unlike some of her classmates... but of course, that is to be expected of most kids their age. Once, while lying down in bed at home, she lamented that she preferred the role of Alqamah cause she would only need to lie down ~ then she pretended to have fits and pretended to die. LOL! Other than the skit, there were performances in the form of nasyid and poetry by other students. I know nuts about the local malay music but the performance by Didicazli was pretty alright. However, in my opinion, the muazzin of En-Naeem Mosque sounded so much better. I was somewhat mesmerized. There was also a mini forum session towards the end. We even got to bring back lucky draw prizes. Big bro and Dad were the lucky ones. The whole event has a warm feeling to it. It was a nice day out to celebrate the 2 mothers in our family. Posted by Firdaus Labels: family, little sisters Haggle Saturday, May 3, 2008 at 2:53 AM \| 2 comments Went to Sim Lim Square to get power supply for my computer and also some CD-Rs. I've been wanting to check out the prices of video cameras and decided to do so during this trip to Sim Lim Square. Checking out = Don't wanna buy yet The first few shops I passed by sells video cameras. And so, I began asking how much the professional video cameras were. I ended up saying that I was looking for something in the thousand plus range. The salesman recommended a HD DV cam. He was saying that the DV cam was superior over the pro cameras since it uses it hard disk instead of tapes. When I asked how much it was, he took out a calculator and typed out 1250. "What's the deal with salesman and calculators?... just say out the price lar." He was keen to demonstrate the functions and I played along. Talking. Demonstrating. Talking. Comparing with other models. Talking. "I give you special price," he said. Took the calculator and entered 1100. Talking. Demonstrating. Talking. Browse magazine. Talking. "I give you complete set," With lens and tripod. I began to get tempted... alas, i was just checking out the prices. So I told him that I'll think about it. All these while, I wasn't the one haggling. He was the one who slashed the price. I was merely playing the hesitant buyer. As I went out of the shop, he said 900. By this time, I was wondering to myself. "This guy is either too desperate or he marked up the price so high that he's able to slash the price by $350 and add stuffs to it." It's probably a bit of both. I am not the type who would ask for a discount except for certain known places where you are an idiot if you don't do this haggling routine. It's a common marketing ploy to mark up your prices and set the minimum that you are willing to sell. Of course, still at a profit. I suppose some people enjoy playing the haggling game. I personally find it a tad of an annoyance. And what's with the calculator?? It's probably yet another ploy so that the haggling game remains between one prospective buyer and the salesman..... therefore not influencing another prospective buyer. This incident proofs to me that perhaps, haggling is something that I have to engage in(like it or not)..... not because I am crazy for a bargain, but because I wanna get a reasonable deal and not be at the losing end. I went on to get my power supply and CD-Rs. Before making the payment, with the incident still fresh in my mind... I said, "Can discount?" I got a $5 discount. I could have pushed my luck and asked for more discount.... but haggling is not my thing. Posted by Firdaus Labels: random musings Sooner or Later Thursday, May 1, 2008 at 11:56 PM \| 0 comments A secondary school teacher of mine,Mr MacDonald, tried to proof to us that it doesn't take long to write a journal entry. One of things I had to do for class. Basically he played Eric Clapton's Tear's a Heaven. A song he wrote about how his toddler fell down to his death from his apartment. So, we basically go on writing in our journal whatever was flowing in our mind be it in response to the song or not. This is to the tune of Breaking Benjamin's Sooner or Later I feeling kinda tired of my own blog. Mainly because it seems to speak a lot of negativity of late. I don't like it that way. Many times, I tried blogging something but got tired to continue and ended up abandoning the idea. Hence the idea of just filling up the blank of this page by the method that I remembered from secondary school. Probably not going to make much sense reading this randomness. Sooner or later is the title of this song. Speaks a lot about life I suppose. Something happens sooner or later. Later seems more likely for me regarding certain things. Yar... all 3.38min is up. Posted by Firdaus Labels: random musings Speed Painting Friday, April 25, 2008 at 5:04 PM \| 0 comments I have been spending time watching speed painting videos on youtube. Sparked a renewed interest in photoshop. My first attempt to a semi-realistic digital painting. I mean, the first attempt whereby I somewhat completed. It can probably use some touching up. After some touching up, it'll be portfolio worthy. The hand situation looks good for now though I don't know what's the implication of my wasted right deltoid. 4 more days till medical review. Posted by Firdaus Labels: digital painting biasa jer Sunday, April 20, 2008 at 10:10 PM \| 0 comments This blog namesake of an entry is just to state the situation that I am in right now. For eventually, others will find out. 'Biasa jer' itself is somewhat a denial of my current state. It's less of denying my current state but more of 'let's not make a big deal out of it'. It's no surprise to find out that, not all is well in Firdaus Land if you were able to read in between the lines of my previous entries since last December. What am I talking about? In the middle of last semester, I found myself unable to do my assignments due to an intense numbing pain on my right hand. Visits to doctors and an EMG later, I found out that the numbness originated from my spine. I was also told to do an MRI just to be sure. For an animator/designer in training, the prospect seems scary and inspired entries such as this and this. Of course I have to continuously strive to be positive about it like the times such as this and this. Apart from dealing with the pain, I had to think about my education and my future. I got myself deferred in last semester. I also managed to get an extension to my deferment this semester. Alhamdulillah. This will at least give me time to make a well thought out decision of my future. Mentally stronger in dealing with the pain. Even the pain is not as bad. I'll have a week more before I get to hear what the doctor has to say. Physiotherapy session at NYP later today. Such is my unorthodox existence and I shall carry on living it. Posted by Firdaus Labels: about me, random musings $100 lesson on that intangible feeling Sunday, April 6, 2008 at 11:09 PM \| 0 comments This happened on 28 March 2008. The story It began with me waking up with a lingering memory of a dream(the nocturnal, when you got to sleep, REM type) I just had. In this dream, I was a soldier. I remember vividly attaching a bayonet to my M-16 rifle. The atmosphere was dark and damp. All hell breaks loose kind of situation. I was snooping around and fired my rounds at 3 soldiers. I killed them. They were from my own platoon. But deep inside, I knew they were actually traitors. However, I knew that my superiors and other platoon mates would not believe me if I told them. So, I took matters at my own hands and went rifle frenzy. I riddled my rounds especially on one particular soldier. After doing so, I felt that I was doomed. I tried to find a way out. I knew I had to return my arms(rifle and ammunition) eventually. I would be questionable of my missing rounds. They would eventually find out that it was my doing; killing those 3 soldiers. After pondering for some time, I felt it was best that I surrendered and serve 2 or 3 years jail time(What!!! 2-3 years for murder!!... it was a dream... remember, doesn't have to make much sense). That was the dream that I had. I remembered something regarding dreams from Ustaz Iqbal's short sermons. Tafsir on surah Yusuf; still ongoing on Fridays nights after Maghrib(technically Saturday... you know what I mean). He was telling the jemaah(boleh kira dua tangan), a story which reflects Rasulullah's stance on nightmares. I am going to simplify the story... A woman came to Rasulullah and told him of a dream she had of her husband. She asked Rasulullah what the dream meant. Rasulullah knew it was a bad sign but told the woman that her husband was safe(the husband was musafir at that point). The woman had the dreams over and over again. Every time, she would worry and seek Rasulullah's opinion to the meaning of the dream. Everytime, Rasulullah would reassure her that it was a good sign and her husband was safe. One day, Rasulullah was not home and the woman was again, seeking reassurance of the dream she had. Instead, it was Rasulullah's wife, Aisyah, who attended to the woman. She told her that the dream was a bad sign. The woman was devastated. Soon after, the woman received news that her husband had passed away. [correct me of the details if I'm wrong]. Back to my story, the lesson from this story is that we should not interpret a nightmare lest it will come true. Apparently knowing is one thing, doing is another. I tried not to interpret the dream. It didn't take me long before I interpret the dream as "I'm going to do something I'll regret." I tried to ignore the feeling and got on with the day. Soon it was time to send my 6 year-old sister to school on my motorcycle. I had a brief strange feeling but nothing more. I went home, did some things and it was time to fetch my sister. Going down the stairs to my motorcycle, the sensation that I had earlier in the day grew tremendously. I was starting to feel very uneasy. I was feeling that it was better for me to take the bus instead, but i couldn't as I was running late and I needed to fetch my sister. When I started my motorcycle, I thought to myself, "Maybe, I'll take the bus home with my sister when I get there." Throughout the journey, I felt uneasy. Reached the mosque(kindergarten in the mosque) to fetch my sister and carried on with my journey. With my sister as the pillion, all I could do was to recite verses. I still felt very uneasy. All these while, I was trying to rationalize the feeling away. I was telling myself that I was just being paranoid. Strangely, at the same time, I wanted something to happen. I wanted to believe that something will happen. That's why, for the most part, I did not react to the feeling. I wanted to see if something really happens. I was at the last turn towards home, feeling somewhat disappointed that nothing had happened. And then, there it was. Upon turning, 3 traffic police officers were just there standing around with their ever-so-cool motorbikes. I was flagged to stop... and I did. It not so much the feeling of regret that I had, but I was more at awe at the fact that something actually happened. Carrying a pillion under the age of 10 is a traffic offence. The first thing I asked was, "Will my license be revoked or something?" Alhamdulillah, I was told that it won't. I was asked to take out my driving(riding) license and IC. The officer had a good look at me. He asked how old my sister was. It took some processing time. I glanced around to fully realize there were 3 of them. The 3 soldiers in the dream. 3 officers = 3 soldiers. That one soldier who got extra bullets from me was the officer who stopped me. In the end, I was slapped with a $100 fine. No demerit points. He was very professional at doing at what he does. Courteous throughout. I would have gone out of my way to write a letter of commendation...... if he had not booked me. Not the best of times for me to get fined. Heck, it's never good to get fined. Some things lost(money), but some things gained(lessons). More than ever, I believe. I believe in that intangible feeling(tahap ainul yaqin kot). There are valuable lessons to learn here. I will pay more attention to these feelings in the future. From that day on, I've been sending and fetching my sister the old way. With my bike, the type which you need to paddle. It's a good change. Though I have to painfully cycle to and fro, it's actually nothing new to me. I've done that with my other younger siblings, all 3 of them. Fetching and sending them to school with my bicycle. I'll share more about that intangible feeling and the lessons learnt in future posts. For now, I'll sign off with a disclaimer: Just know that I felt very safe to pillion my sister on my motorcycle. I took time, cost of travel and pain as a deciding factor. Anyway, it was just 5 minutes of travel on my bike to her school. Taking the bus would cost more and takes more time. Cycling also takes more time and I perceived a lot of pain because of the condition that I am in right now. It turns out that its not so bad if I position my body the right way while cycling. Posted by Firdaus Labels: feelings, little sisters, random musings, road Cyborg Thursday, April 3, 2008 at 11:49 PM \| 0 comments Cyborg: "My body may have its limitations, but when I put my mind to it, there's nothing I can't do." 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