Friday, June 26, 2009
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12:57 AM
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Hah
Posted by
Firdaus
Thursday, April 23, 2009
at
1:12 AM
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1 comments
Earlier on when I was fetching my sister from school, I stumbled upon my old RSM back when I was with my army unit in national service. I called out his name from far. He acknowledged me with a sense of familiarity. We exchanged formalities and asked one another what we've been up to.
He seemed nice, unlike back then. I suppose one has to put on a 'role' when he is assigned to his task. Being the RSM is akin to being a discipline master of a school. We, the Regimental Police(RP), were akin to prefects that transforms to coolies when needed.
We chatted for a while, then he struck a pose. One which is deep in thought, almost epiphanic. Typical 'drama mama' of him. By the way, he's Indian.
He said, "I can foresee the future...." *LOL* Then he started out dishing out some fatherly advice about how in the future one needs to have at least a diploma. A diploma would only be enough for me to cover myself; would not be enough for family. After which, I would need to continuosly upgrade myself in that particular field.
Then comes the touching part. He opened up that life in the army is hard. Although he has 5 day work week now, he would need to work late nights. He has 4 small children to take care of. He went on to say that by right, he should have been a master warrant officer by now. I took glance on his ampulets, and true enough he was still a 1st Warrant Officer like he was 7 years back(man... how time flies). Hard work does not account to anything if you don't have the qualifications. All you need is the qualification, that's enough to justify a promotion. Pretty sincere sharing on his part. I felt his pain.
He went on to dish out things like I should not get married before I am stable and pointed out the broken marriages than happens when Malay couples get married way too young. He went on to say that I need to be Chinese minded.
I am reminded at how he used to scold the RPs. Our guardroom was 'kampung melayu'. The RPs were all Malays. Don't ask me why... more often than not, it's a common phenomena throughout most military camps in Singapore. We he gets angry with us among his favourite phrase was, "You know why many Malays are lazy?..... because you all eat too many belacan!!"
As Malays, we feel a little offended and hurt, especially when you are at '45-degree-to-the-left-position' when we are at the receiving end of his lecture. But we are quick to dismiss the validity of the argument. Our generation of Malays are not well acquainted with the belacan(prawn paste). We also agree that its just too funny to take it to heart.
That small exchange triggered many things:
1. My educational future
2. My financial future
3. My future ...
4. The fate of my Malay/Muslim community (who to champion the change)
He seemed delighted when I told him that I am pursuing my diploma... that's a start.
He seemed nice, unlike back then. I suppose one has to put on a 'role' when he is assigned to his task. Being the RSM is akin to being a discipline master of a school. We, the Regimental Police(RP), were akin to prefects that transforms to coolies when needed.
We chatted for a while, then he struck a pose. One which is deep in thought, almost epiphanic. Typical 'drama mama' of him. By the way, he's Indian.
He said, "I can foresee the future...." *LOL* Then he started out dishing out some fatherly advice about how in the future one needs to have at least a diploma. A diploma would only be enough for me to cover myself; would not be enough for family. After which, I would need to continuosly upgrade myself in that particular field.
Then comes the touching part. He opened up that life in the army is hard. Although he has 5 day work week now, he would need to work late nights. He has 4 small children to take care of. He went on to say that by right, he should have been a master warrant officer by now. I took glance on his ampulets, and true enough he was still a 1st Warrant Officer like he was 7 years back(man... how time flies). Hard work does not account to anything if you don't have the qualifications. All you need is the qualification, that's enough to justify a promotion. Pretty sincere sharing on his part. I felt his pain.
He went on to dish out things like I should not get married before I am stable and pointed out the broken marriages than happens when Malay couples get married way too young. He went on to say that I need to be Chinese minded.
I am reminded at how he used to scold the RPs. Our guardroom was 'kampung melayu'. The RPs were all Malays. Don't ask me why... more often than not, it's a common phenomena throughout most military camps in Singapore. We he gets angry with us among his favourite phrase was, "You know why many Malays are lazy?..... because you all eat too many belacan!!"
As Malays, we feel a little offended and hurt, especially when you are at '45-degree-to-the-left-position' when we are at the receiving end of his lecture. But we are quick to dismiss the validity of the argument. Our generation of Malays are not well acquainted with the belacan(prawn paste). We also agree that its just too funny to take it to heart.
That small exchange triggered many things:
1. My educational future
2. My financial future
3. My future ...
4. The fate of my Malay/Muslim community (who to champion the change)
He seemed delighted when I told him that I am pursuing my diploma... that's a start.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
random musings
Thursday, April 2, 2009
at
9:48 PM
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comments
beautiful rendition of the song
Unwell
All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
I'm feeling like I'm headed for a
Breakdown
I don't know why
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Me
Talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
I know
I know they've all been talking 'bout me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong
With me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow
I've lost my mind
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
I been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know, right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired
I know, right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be
Hey, how I used to be
How I used to be, yeah
Well I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
Posted by
Firdaus
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
at
11:20 PM
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6
comments
Man has a tendency to focus on what he is deprived from. Be it health or wealth. Partly its built-in to man's survival mechanism. When we injure ourselves, we will feel the pain. Pain is a signal for us to attend to the problem.
Pain, or challenges in life, becomes a problem when we mull over it extensively and starts to engage in self-pity. Being overly optimistic probably can't all that good either if we end up in wishful thinking. So I remind myself not to end up in the either one of the extreme states.
Having said that, my week had been interesting. I was not feeling well for most of the week... always a good opportunity to just let go and reflect.
On a higher note, March and April and the birthday months for everyone in our house except me. 30th March was Nadia's.
I had a conversation with my other siblings, those 21 and above. We were thinking of the presents we had given to our little sisters for the past years. We agreed that the presents we gave were things that we would have wanted when we were smaller.... and we are guilty of playing with the stuffs we gave to our little sisters(buang gian).
I personally find nothing wrong with that as we will be genuinely happy for them!! At the same time, we can teach the value of sharing :p
In the end its not the present that matters, what matters is the time we spend with one another. If a present helps in that process... so be it. As the older one, I see the challenges that my siblings would have to face. My job is to remind them when it's due. I see myself when I was her age in Nadia... and I'll do my best to guide her.
So young yet so stressed out. Kids shouldn't grow up like that. But some of us do... and it's mainly from self-expectation, not from external factors. We want to be perfect. We are the naturally driven types... but we need to have a purpose. For the kid, it could be trying to be the perfect student, trying to be the pride of the parents. It becomes hard when we fail to master the basics of self-expression. When we fall, we fall hard. We might even get our very psychological concept of 'Self' torn apart. When that happens, it's a tough process to recover without the proper intervention.
Pain, or challenges in life, becomes a problem when we mull over it extensively and starts to engage in self-pity. Being overly optimistic probably can't all that good either if we end up in wishful thinking. So I remind myself not to end up in the either one of the extreme states.
Having said that, my week had been interesting. I was not feeling well for most of the week... always a good opportunity to just let go and reflect.
On a higher note, March and April and the birthday months for everyone in our house except me. 30th March was Nadia's.
I had a conversation with my other siblings, those 21 and above. We were thinking of the presents we had given to our little sisters for the past years. We agreed that the presents we gave were things that we would have wanted when we were smaller.... and we are guilty of playing with the stuffs we gave to our little sisters(buang gian).I personally find nothing wrong with that as we will be genuinely happy for them!! At the same time, we can teach the value of sharing :p
In the end its not the present that matters, what matters is the time we spend with one another. If a present helps in that process... so be it. As the older one, I see the challenges that my siblings would have to face. My job is to remind them when it's due. I see myself when I was her age in Nadia... and I'll do my best to guide her.
So young yet so stressed out. Kids shouldn't grow up like that. But some of us do... and it's mainly from self-expectation, not from external factors. We want to be perfect. We are the naturally driven types... but we need to have a purpose. For the kid, it could be trying to be the perfect student, trying to be the pride of the parents. It becomes hard when we fail to master the basics of self-expression. When we fall, we fall hard. We might even get our very psychological concept of 'Self' torn apart. When that happens, it's a tough process to recover without the proper intervention.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
about me,
little sisters
Friday, March 20, 2009
at
7:22 AM
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I went to catch my first movie ever on Malaysian soil last Tuesday. My eldest bro drove us to JB's City Square to catch Geng : Pengemberaan Bermula. I always use my little sisters Ainul and Nadia to justify the need to watch cartoons. Another excuse that I use is... "It's for research." And its true for both cases to some extend. I also watch them because its fun.
Dad decided to tag along also and hence the 5 of us made our way to JB for the 11.40 show. City Square is very Orchard Road. The movie theatre, being run by Cathay makes the experience no different than going to a local cinema. The only difference is that the people around us are mainly Malays and there's a proper mussolah just around the corner.
Yeah... and the ticket costs RM5 off-peak.The show itself is pretty good. As expected, there were funny moments splattered throughout the movie. The script was good. It felt natural. It's nice to see an animation with a kampung setting. However, the show got a little mundane for me with too many chasing sequence. But the little twist in the storyline saved the movie in the end. Overall, like my brother said the movie was a little too fantasy for a Malaysian show. I agree but it's also a matter of what we are accustomed to and what we've come to expect.
It's a great movie for kids to enjoy but surprising a tad violent from what I expected from Upin and Ipin. Parents discretion is advised. For adults, it's a good to sit through for a good laugh. The movie lacked that strong emotional appeal which shows like Meet the Robinsons and Happy Feet are good at. A strong moral theme is also lacking. It feels more just like an adventurous ride. But still, an awesome experience. Spurred me to embark on my own personal animation project for this holiday.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
animation,
little sisters,
review
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
at
3:50 PM
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0
comments
I am finally done with Studio Project 4. Here's what the team of 5 people came up with after 3 weeks hard work.
The 3 weeks brought back some of the competitive drive in me. Out of the 3 weeks, I had a 1 and a half day of TOS down time. I had a feel of a cooped up project setting. Just need to physically and mentally prepare myself for the 3 months of FYP next school year.
Alhamdulillah. I will be doing my modules first which means holidays first. I probably wouldn't be able to take it if I were to start my FYP only after a weekend of break.
Dreading the drawing module next semester. I may need to do what I did this semester again. Meticulously planning to skip certain classes to nurse myself back to health. I do this just so that I have better efficiency in the long run to complete the assignments on time. Explaining my real situation the the lecturers only when I have to. Swallowing pride by submitting only what I can.
The coming semester should be easier as there is only one 'killer' module. The other modules would probably be challenging in other ways but the drawing module would definitely be physically taxing for me.
TOS helped me narrow down things to specialize on. :) Drawing and pre-production designs are definitely out. I plan to enjoy my year ahead. Good work and putting my best equates self-satisfaction. I still doubt that I would be able to make this line a career but the experience from SP4 helped tipped the scale a little to the other side.
Man fear the unknown. I fear the future. But it is liberating to accept that some things are just beyond our control. Like what the our future holds for us. I don't mean we should not have goals and not work towards them. We just do what is humanly possibly within the syariah of Allah. Everything else is up to HIM to decide what's best for us.
Anyway, that's what makes life interesting. You wouldn't want your friends telling you the ending of a movie. You would prefer to sit through the movie yourself.
The 3 weeks brought back some of the competitive drive in me. Out of the 3 weeks, I had a 1 and a half day of TOS down time. I had a feel of a cooped up project setting. Just need to physically and mentally prepare myself for the 3 months of FYP next school year.
Alhamdulillah. I will be doing my modules first which means holidays first. I probably wouldn't be able to take it if I were to start my FYP only after a weekend of break.
Dreading the drawing module next semester. I may need to do what I did this semester again. Meticulously planning to skip certain classes to nurse myself back to health. I do this just so that I have better efficiency in the long run to complete the assignments on time. Explaining my real situation the the lecturers only when I have to. Swallowing pride by submitting only what I can.
The coming semester should be easier as there is only one 'killer' module. The other modules would probably be challenging in other ways but the drawing module would definitely be physically taxing for me.
TOS helped me narrow down things to specialize on. :) Drawing and pre-production designs are definitely out. I plan to enjoy my year ahead. Good work and putting my best equates self-satisfaction. I still doubt that I would be able to make this line a career but the experience from SP4 helped tipped the scale a little to the other side.
Man fear the unknown. I fear the future. But it is liberating to accept that some things are just beyond our control. Like what the our future holds for us. I don't mean we should not have goals and not work towards them. We just do what is humanly possibly within the syariah of Allah. Everything else is up to HIM to decide what's best for us.
Anyway, that's what makes life interesting. You wouldn't want your friends telling you the ending of a movie. You would prefer to sit through the movie yourself.
Posted by
Firdaus
Labels:
random musings,
TOS