I thought it was over but I'll be returning to school to complete our FYP. I agree with the lecturers that it would be a waste to leave the animation hanging as it has a lot of potential. I'll continue working on it until I get a job. That sounds like a decent arrangement for now.
Results are out and my paltry GPA has been computed, a reflection of bad decisions I made when faced with adversity. I pulled out way too late. I am however, forever thankful for the moral support of friends who helped me stay in the course of getting my diploma. I had never expected it to have been this hard to get that diploma. The most important thing now is to remember the lessons I've learned from all this. Sadly, I still forget at times.
I'd like to start working immediately but job hunting will be a new chapter of new challenges for me.
I'm available for freelance work. Flash animation, graphic design, poster designs, 3d modeling. Check out www.feer.co.cc. I cannot update the website since the server is down for upgrade but it is still worth checking the site out.
A work in progress of Kuchiki Rukia. Decided to do a digital piece with my left hand for the heck of it.... ended up switching to my right hand for about 50% of the line work. The coloring all done with left hand. Kudos to me. My left hand is becoming more adept in such task. Speed has gone up. Accuracy has gone up.
I am thankful for every limb that I have. Will continue working on this... some work on the upper torso, one eye looks slightly skewed. Add highlights and shadows and I should be done.
Halfway through Studio Project 4. Already on the animation stage of production. The past 1 and a half week has been intense. I learnt a lot.
"The best lessons are learning things you already know." That's what SP4 feels like to me. Reaffirming and applying things that I already know. Learning new things too at the same time; from one another and from our lecturers.
These TOS inflicted pair of hands in front of me are still able to play a role in a team. I can leave the the storyboard drawing and painting of the textures to those who can do it. Let me do what I can still do. Can't wait to see the finish product.
Still too early for celebrations....but I already some ideas in mind to mark the end of this semester. :)
2 weeks of second semester has passed by. How has school been for me? Apart from the modules that I am re-re-taking, I am taking a module which is new to me. I pleaded my course coordinator to let me take Digital Photography. I'm glad I did it. It's definitely a break from my monotonous existence. A breath of fresh air. Learning is easier when it's fun. I bought a DSLR camera for the course and also partly for NYPMS Network Jalan Rayer. Bought a second hand one. I still don't know how serious a photographer I will be, a second hand entry level one should do just fine for now. The best part is that taking photos does not affect my hand like drawing does.
I started the semester with my right arm still very susceptible to pain and my left arm as back-up. My right arm will still go weak and pain will run up to my shoulders and back after extended use. My left arm is still unable write and draw at the level that I need for my course.
Drawing class is the one that I dreaded the most but so far it has been pretty okay. I am able to zone out from the pain when I need to for the class. It's a different story later on in the day... but i have learnt that complaining is not going to anyone any good. All I can do is suck thumb...nah...physio exercises does help reduce the pain.... but I will have days when I just get bored of it and forego. Lepas tu tanggung ar sendiri.
At times the pain will be bad enough to distract me and I will start feeling like a druggie who can't wait for the next fix. Panadol Extra would seem heavenly at that point in time but so far I have still yet to resort to painkillers. I also considered muscle relaxants.
The heaviest part to everything would have to be my mental stamina. I do zone out and start wondering why am I still doing this? I try to distract myself in my own head when I need to... it gets boring learning the same thing. I will start thinking of anything and everything... I would start thinking and am still thinking ... "Man, I should really celebrate in a big way when I get this semester over and done with!!" It should be something special... something special enough that will motivate me to go through another 16 weeks. I am open to suggestions.
~ taking a break from digital painting and listening to Collide
Got my timetable yesterday. I will finally return to school next week on 14 Oct. Growing accustomed to the pain on my right hand. As of this instance, the shoulder hurts the most. There's pain in the right side of the neck. There's some irritation along the ulnar nerve to the tip of my 4th finger and my middle finger. This is a little strange cos its usually the 4th and the pinkie.
Should I worry that school is less than a week now and the pain still persists? I admit that it is not the easiest decision to make. To finish up and get that diploma considering the circumstances that I am in. With other responsibilities taken into consideration, quitting and getting a job instead seemed like a tempting option. Though the choice that I choose still seems daunting, I brush the feeling of doubt aside and replace it with faith...
The faith in the answer to my istikharah. This time round I got my answer in the form of a dream. I dreamt that I was back in school in the new semester. I never got my istikharah answer through a dream before. Not that I've performed many istikharahs prior to this. In fact it was only one other time. It was also for a choice that involved my education.
Allah has taught us ways to seek help but man (referring to myself especially) are sometimes too stubborn to humble themselves and ask help from Allah. "You (Alone) we worship, and You (Alone) we ask for help (for each and everything)." (Al-Fatiha : 5)
Jangan segan-silu, jangan ego-ego.Let us seek help from Him when we need to. Takkan nak cari jodoh baru nak istikarah. I admit that's a valid area of concern but there are other important choices that we need to make along the way in life.
Animation has sort of taken a back seat for me for a while. Been trying out other stuffs to get that perfect balance out of life. School will be opening school and it feels like I am returning back to reality somewhat.
The challenges ahead....
I see animation very differently now. I see it as a tool to my bigger purpose in life.
I was reading the papers. It's about the comic "The 99". Read about it some time ago and now its being sold in Indonesia for S$3 for each issue. I do not agree with the whole 99 thing. The story is such that, there are 99 noor stones will give man superpowers.
It is based on the 99 names of Allah which are also His attributes. Whoever bears the stones will gain the superpower similar to Allah's attribute.
I tried searching for my akidah book to confirm this.... but will have to rely on my memory for now. Correct me if I'm wrong, one cannot be named after the 99 names like the characters, Jabbar and Sami'. Instead one can be named as such only with a prefix of Abdul which means servant of. So it should be Abdul Jabbar and Abdul Sami' instead.
There are attributes of of Allah that as humans, we can strive to emulate. But there are attributes that solely belongs to Allah. One can sense that something is not quite right just by a quick browse of the comic. The female superheros are not even covered up. The whole fantasy story might do harm to the akidah of the muslim youths who reads such books. It sounds almost hypocritical for me to say that this fantasy world will do harm. I grew up with influence of fantasy of cartoon world and even enjoying them. However, I have come to understand that they are also a form of distraction.
Pretty screwed that I chose to pursue animation as a career. Not quite. I do still have choices. Let's now talk about Malaysian animation. I feel that Malaysia's animation is on the rise. First there was Saladin. Now there's Upin and Ipin by Les' Copaque. Upin and Ipin is a light hearted animation fit for the family. The kind that I would love making. It's encouraging to see fellow Malays doing these things. It's giving me the drive to pick animation back up where I left it. Singapore is cool with its democracy system and all, but one cannot deny the race connection. It's currently being played on malaysian cable TV9. But of course, there's youtube.
