After today, 2 weeks of term break begins. Yay!! Time to wind down a little and catch up on school work, freelance work and nypmsn. Big Bro is getting married tomorrow. Sekejap lagi sedara2 dah start datang untuk rewang. I did my fair share of helping out with designing invitation cards and posters. Could have helped out more in the printing part more though. Will play another part tomorrow as saksi and most probably handling of guests and whatever else.
Why am I blogging at this hour? Didnt sleep last night.. had to finish up scanning of drawing assignment. Yup, it's finally done. Had a short nap in the afternoon yesterday though. Later today would probably be another long day, hopefully not entirely work.
Though the week had been hectic, I believe that there is time for everything if you set some time for Allah. By everything here, I mean proper management of time for different things. I can safely say I can feel the sweetness of reading once again. Reading time is relaxing time. Like I said, there is time for everything.
There's more drawing to be done but I'm forced to take a break from it all. It's back.... and it's a good sign. The pain in my hand that spreads until the back. I have been drawing overtime for assignments and freelance work.
I haven't suffered from this overdrawing for quite some time. It was a frequent occurrence for me the first year and the half of polytechnic. Those were my super-on days with a 3.9 GPA.
That pain in my hand was among the things that I was thinking about. I was putting lots of effort into my schoolwork. When the pain came, it got me thinking, "What if Allah decided to take the nikmat of the use of my hand and I could not draw for a living?"
That's a scary thought. Will I be ready if that happens to me? Cut things short, that thought and many other thoughts boiled up to one big dilemma and one big question, "What's my next move?" You may want to refer to one of my earliest entries.
I took the whole episode as a lesson to learn, and I am still learning to better myself.
Back to the pain. I have a theory as to how I got it. I could be very wrong but I think I first got it while I was working in the airport as a screener. I think when I placed my hand into the x-ray machine to grab a bag(My job was to screen people and check the luggage before people boarded planes). That's when I remember feeling that same pain for the first time. Again... that's just my theory and maybe I am just being paranoid.
Anyway, I try to see the pain as an old friend who checks up on me once in a while. Especially if I am consumed with work. I shall quote Aldous Huxley who once said, "They intoxicate themselves with work so that they won't see how they really are."
Pure hard work is good. However, some people use work as a drug to numb themselves from the real issues that they really need to tackle. Just something to ponder on. Don't be a sloth either.
The last couple of weeks had been testing for me. My head and my heart had an epic battle with one another. Now, it seems that the storm has subsided and there's only calm waters in the horizon. Both the head and the heart have said what they needed to and they have come up with a truce.
It made me see clearer of the obstacles that I need to overcome. Some things will need to wait, some things I will need to attend to immediately, other things I need to consistently attend to. :)
My 16 year old cousin passed away last night around maghrib. The first of the cousins to go. It serves as a reminder for the rest of us that this life is just a test.
another entry whereby mere words can't describe the experience... i'll leave it as this
I'm feeling kinda stupid right about now, trying to play a game I am totally alien at. It's okay though. Still crashing and burning through life experiences and taking in the lessons along the way. I don't let these things get to me so much now since I value the lessons that I get to learn from them.
It's totally fine to feel stupid once in a while. It lets you feel grounded and not get big headed. Don't watch this if you have better things to do.
It's the school holidays for the little kids. It's also typically the season of weddings. A friend of has been saying, "Asyik dapat saman jer, aku pun nak saman orang". I understand the feeling. The 'saman' here is referring to wedding invitation. It's not surprising to be getting the invitations since my peers and I have come to an age where it is suitable to settle down.
The cherry on top of the icing will be my own brother's wedding in a couple of weeks. These got me thinking that marriage is a huge commitment and responsibility for anyone to take. At the same time, it would be nice to have a someone there for you.
I am going to this entry about me and say that I think it would be nice to have someone say the following words to me and really mean it.
Don't let your head rule you heart Don't let your world be torn apart Don't keep it all to yourself Just let all your emotions run free with someone like me That's the way it should be Someone like me
I know Its hard when you're feeling down To lift your feet up off the ground We make mistakes but doesn't everybody You don't always have to agree with someone like me That's the way it should be Someone like me
We know the story so far (what you want and who you are) What you want and who you are (Free) Let all your emotions run free You don't always have to agree With someone like me That's the way it should be Someone like me Someone like me
On a side note, I feel guilty to long for such a thing when I am still dealing with the anxiety of 2 posts ago. Confusing times.
When the truth gets presented right in front of your face, the worst thing a person can do is to deny the truth and go against it out of arrogance. If you fail to introspect the err of your action, your heart will be blinded from the truth.
As you go through life, and insist living life the same way, your heart will continue to be engulfed by a blanket your own arrogance. Don't let your heart be closed from receiving and accepting the light of the truth. This will be your ultimate downfall.
If you are not ready to accept the truth, don't go against it. Admit that you are not ready for a change at that moment. At your own time, get back to the truth and think about it. Get away from worldly distractions and really think about it. Pray that the light of the truth will guide you and mend your ways.
