Mahram
Sunday, October 28, 2007 at 10:24 PM |  
I should have blogged about this earlier as a pre-cursor to Hari Raya visiting.

This is regarding the salam (greetings by means of shaking hands). This act is a sunnah when meeting and leaving fellow muslims. However one must be reminded that such an act is prohibited between opposite genders unless that other person is your mahram.

The act of salam involves touching. This is clearly prohibited between non-mahrams. As Kuzco from The Emperor's New Groove/School would say, "No... Touchy."

A mahram can be defined as a person whom you cannot marry. We are talking about opposite genders here. No 377A hoo-hahs here. Islam is clearly against homosexuality.

So, who exactly constitute as a person's mahram?

Let's look at the following quran verses...

And marry not women whom your fathers married, except what has already passed; indeed it was shameful and most hateful, and an evil way. (22) Forbidden to you (for marriage) are: your mothers, your daughters, your sisters, your father's sisters, your mother's sisters, your brother's daughters, your sister's daughters, your foster mother who gave you suck, your foster milk suckling sisters, your wives' mothers, your step daughters under your guardianship, born of your wives to whom you have gone in - but there is no sin on you if you have not gone in them (to marry their daughters), - the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins, and two sisters in wedlock at the same time, except for what has already passed; verily, Allâh is Oft¬Forgiving, Most Merciful. (23)

Surah An-Nisa (22-23)

In summary, people who are considered mahrams are divided into 3 parts (this is from the perspective of a woman.... a similar manner can be derived for a man) :

  1. permanent or blood mahrams with whom you become mahram by a blood relationship:
    1. father, grandfather, great-grandfather and so on;
    2. brother;
    3. son, grandson, great-grandson;
    4. uncle, parents' uncle, grandparents' uncle and so on;
    5. nephew, grandnephew, great-grandnephew and so on;

  2. in-law mahrams with whom you become mahram by marrying someone:
    1. father-in-law;
    2. son-in-law;
    3. step-father (mother's husband) if their marriage is consummated;
    4. step-son (husband's son) if her marriage is consummated;

  3. radha' or milk-suckling mahrams with whom you become mahram because of being nursed by a woman. When a woman acts as a wetnurse (that is, she breast feeds an infant that is not her own child) for a certain amount of time under certain conditions, she becomes the child's radha mother and all said about blood mahrams applies here, like radha father/mother, radha sister/brother, radha aunt/uncle and so on. In English these can be referred to as milk brother, milk-mother, etc.

This means that if you are a guy, you can salam your mother's/father's sister. Your grandmother's/grandfather's sister. Your great-grandmother's/great-grandmother's sister and so on.

This also means that if you are a guy, you cannot salam your uncle's(either your mother's or father's brother) wife.

This also means that my Uncle Taufik Batisah, in theory, can salam my great-great-grandmother.

According to Mazhab Syafi'i's teachings, touching a non-mahram is permissable in darurat cases such as treating a sickness, dentistry, surgery and the likes if there is no other like genders around to perform the same job.

For me, sometimes it's very hard to say no when the non-mahram extends her hand and say,"tak salam?" Especially if she's within family but still not considered mahram. One still cannot regard this as darurat. Even if it becomes a norm in society, it does not make the wrong thing right.

We have to be strong to put the commands of Allah at its place. Should we slip, we should seek forgiveness and pray that we will be stronger in the future.
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