Ikigai is a japanese term which means the reason of being. The reason to wake up in the morning for. That purpose that makes living to an old ripe age worth living.
I am in a dire need of redefining my own ikigai. Last Monday, I gave up hoping that I can work in the design/animation line full time in the near future.
Next week will be my final week in polytechnic. I am relieved for that. But that does not eliminate the fact that there are still things to be done in this short period of time. After that, I'll have a month to prepare for the students' graduation where we showcase our works for prospective employers. The fact that I have given up makes the whole thing seem mundane. I'll still put in some effort for I have hopes of doing this on a freelance basis for now.
This is not the kind of ending that I had hoped for. I had imagined the end as a huge relieve and ecstasy. I am sure it will a huge relieve, but there will be no celebration for job hunting began months ago for me. I tried applying for a teaching position in MOE and ICA. Went for both interviews, alas I will have to face more interviews before I clinch a job.
To quit hoping with slightly more than a month before the day.... well I can say that I gave it a good fight. There were countless times that I gave up the dream but came back hoping shortly after. Holding on the the dream has been taxing to me but I kept holding on for I have learnt in what seemed to me as my previous life. I had learnt in that life that, to lose hope of a dream is to be a walking dead. Lifeless.
Having said that, is this really giving up? No, it's not. It's definitely not losing hope of the rahmat of Allah. The struggles these past years may not have ended me with a dream job in the close future. But, it ended me with a diploma and 2 extra years worth of lesson in patience and perseverance. And for that hope of my dream job.... maybe it'll rise up from the ashes as a phoenix brighter than before.
Life is a journey, not a destination. I am exactly where I am supposed to be now. The following Bon Jovi song sums things up nicely.
I am in a dire need of redefining my own ikigai. Last Monday, I gave up hoping that I can work in the design/animation line full time in the near future.
Next week will be my final week in polytechnic. I am relieved for that. But that does not eliminate the fact that there are still things to be done in this short period of time. After that, I'll have a month to prepare for the students' graduation where we showcase our works for prospective employers. The fact that I have given up makes the whole thing seem mundane. I'll still put in some effort for I have hopes of doing this on a freelance basis for now.
This is not the kind of ending that I had hoped for. I had imagined the end as a huge relieve and ecstasy. I am sure it will a huge relieve, but there will be no celebration for job hunting began months ago for me. I tried applying for a teaching position in MOE and ICA. Went for both interviews, alas I will have to face more interviews before I clinch a job.
To quit hoping with slightly more than a month before the day.... well I can say that I gave it a good fight. There were countless times that I gave up the dream but came back hoping shortly after. Holding on the the dream has been taxing to me but I kept holding on for I have learnt in what seemed to me as my previous life. I had learnt in that life that, to lose hope of a dream is to be a walking dead. Lifeless.
Having said that, is this really giving up? No, it's not. It's definitely not losing hope of the rahmat of Allah. The struggles these past years may not have ended me with a dream job in the close future. But, it ended me with a diploma and 2 extra years worth of lesson in patience and perseverance. And for that hope of my dream job.... maybe it'll rise up from the ashes as a phoenix brighter than before.
Life is a journey, not a destination. I am exactly where I am supposed to be now. The following Bon Jovi song sums things up nicely.
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Firdaus
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